That's When We Collide
By: Jaden Zotigh
Ask me for 100 and I provide
Ask me for my time and I abide
Ask me to change for you and that's when we collide
Acting like our past is fake
Acting like there isn't a lake of trauma following our made up nirvana
Look I get it
You're family
But forget it
You're rapidly pushing my buttons casually
All in while my sanity holds onto the agony you put me through while you happily sit in your own fantasies, like WAKE UP!
This shit isn't something you can just push down!
You keep running circles round and round
I guess I'm glad you found some peaceful ground in pushing everyone close to you around, but keep in mind that I'm around and just because you block me doesn't mean I won't make a sound, cause this bullshit is bound to hit the ground when those of us you left in the past catch up
Up...
Like when you shook me up
When you beat me up
When you beat me down
When you threw me down
When you verbally put me down
Let's be real, when I say you beat me, I mean that.
I remember when you dragged me by my long hair
I remember when you beat me so bad that my skin would tear
I remember being scared that someone who cared would notice the bruises and call someone who would be there to take you
And I remember how little you actually cared
But hey you made me some food
You got me a toy, so that's cool
Guess I should accept that you're lewd
Guess I should accept that you're cruel
Guess I should accept that a layer deeper than the one we get is worse than the one you've set
Guess I should accept that you wear more layers for a public image in hopes that we forget
Who you are on the inside
Cause let's be honest, you're like Jekyll and Hyde
Jekyll for the public side
And Hyde for those who sit by your side
Ask me for 100 and I provide
Ask me for my time and I abide
Ask me to change for you and that's when we collide
Bully
A person who habitually seeks to harm or intimidate those whom they perceive as vulnerable
You
A person who habitually seeks to harm or intimidate those whom they perceive as vulnerable
Don't understand me?
Let me explain
When you think you're above people who sustained being around you long enough to know you think with your hate and not with your brain, you come off as untamed
Family shouldn't be scared of family but that's always the case
With you anyways...
Probably cause you run off your haste
Probably cause you punched me in the face
Guess eventually you'll get a taste of your own medicine, but when logic sets in place, you run away!
Can't you hear me out for a second?
Or do you know that the truth is not pleasant so you reckon that because you feel threatened by it, it doesn't need to be dealt with?
Remember when you beat me down at the age of eleven?
No, wait, stop, that was a different time, I'm talking about that time I was seven
Do you keep track anymore?
How many times did you hit me?
How many times did you leave me sore?
How many times did you think that you just maybe took it one step too far
Or were you always trying to raise the bar
This time you smack him really hard
After that punch him in the arm
Maybe next time, make sure he sees stars
Maybe hit him with a fucking car
"You can never go too far when it comes to hitting little kids," right?
You Bully!
Ask me for 100 and I provide
Ask me for my time and I abide
Ask me to change for you and that's when we collide
Jaden, I made you who you are
Jaden you're you cause I made you a rockstar
Jaden you made it really far because of me!
Yeah, but really no.
I am who I am because I decided that's who I wanted to be
I am who I am with or without who you wanted me to be
Clearly you hate what I am
So why do you take a stand in claiming you made me the man that I am?
Mind you, you blocked me over asking you to treat me with respect
You blocked me for not responding to a fucking text
Don't take full credit for who I became
I made me who I am and you tried to take the blame
You're so full of shit, I think you believe in your lies
You play victim in every story, you even fake your own cries
Yet somehow you're the one who continuously cuts the family ties
You're the one who pushes away all of your allies
Then you sit by yourself and get real high, and probably pat yourself on the back with red eyes thinking about how you were so wise, and how everyone around you just wants to see your demise
Even though we stayed around as long as we could until the day came when we misunderstood that change is for those who hit adulthood and not for those who never would
I really wish you would quit the childish games
It really just feels like you threw us through the flames
Then you pushed us all away
I know you don't have the ability to take full responsibility for all the hostility you repeatedly pushed onto us, but just let me know where the grudges and the hate takes you
I assume it'll go nowhere too, because your own pride is about the only part of you that ever grew
Never a wrong choice to choose when it comes to you!
Ask me for 100 and I provide
Ask me for my time and I abide
Ask me to change for you and that's when we collide
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"Why do your arms hurt sweetie?"
"Cause of yesterday, my arms were in the air"
"Were you climbing the monkey bars?"
"No, I got in trouble and they told me to get on my knees and put my arms in the air"
"For how long?"
"I'm actually not supposed to be talking about this or I'll get in trouble again"
​
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