Something That Was Broken

As tall as I am, you made me feel small

I guess I knew from the start that we would fall

But I can't help but feel like the voice that calls for me to stall the end of us doesn't care at all

It doesn’t feel fair to end it right here

Leaving you is something I fear

You say I am being selfish and unfair

But maybe I'm miserable and just care

About my own health and safety

All the weight I have, I just can’t carry

These thoughts I have can't just be buried

Did you ever take me into consideration?

Mind you that your iteration of the world is just an irritation to the truth we all live in

It’s not all about you, but you knew that 

You did think about me 

Just not in the right ways

You thought my pain was another fight

You said we could fix this, but the small amount of effort seemed to just die

If it was ever even alive

Accusations about a friend?

My loyalty seemed to descend

In your eyes

I guess I'm just full of lies

You think I could be better?

Well I think I could do better

I'm a jerk and mean and hurtful

That’s why I wrote you this and sang you that

That's why I bought you this and fed you that

That’s why I walked through that piss and shit with you daily

That's why I'm writing this as my free therapy

That’s why I never left your side, right?

Or is that version of the story not in your sight?

But, sure, I'm the one who has feelings for another

To someone who literally calls me her brother

I'm just some cold mother fucker

I mean, I am the one that made you cry daily over nothing

But it was always something

I am the one that left his friends and left his life for your happiness

A problem I would attempt to address

Yet, I'm the one who’s writing this because I’m still stuck on how bad I made you feel

I just felt that it was time we both heal

My goal wasn't to hurt you

I'm just tired of all that we as a couple were put through

I hope one day you can see that too

You wanna get back together so badly and so do I

Just not for the same reason

You love who I could be

I love who you are

But you have this obsessive LOVE for me like I'm your shooting star

You thought I was the one, but we're still in High School

I love you, I really do

But what does it have to come down to to say that we’re through

I’m losing hair, I’m losing weight

I’m losing sleep and I’m losing faith

Those words walked right past you

It wasn't like I was leaving tiny clues

I would address it often so that you knew

I was blunt as fuck about it too

Because "everything was always okay

Never a problem that was in our way"

I caved every time I saw you cry

That single tear in your eye

“Everything is okay, I’ll be fine”

I would tell myself by myself to comfort myself

I don't wanna go home and cry, so no...

“Nothing is wrong, all is great, it’s totally fine”

I'm at home now, so I can finally relax from the stress, right?

No, because I got one missed call and a post on snapchat about how we're apparently in a fight!

I can’t deal with this anymore, and I've tried and I've tried

I’ve never been through depression,

But where there’s a start, there’s a progression

Till you’re just left sitting in this tension 

The feeling that I’m not in my life and I’m in another dimension 

One where my chance to improve has been put on suspension 

A dimension where I was put in your hands that you closed and never opened

We were in Something That Was Broken...

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